Due Window Open

I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy and I'm at that point where it could be tomorrow, it could be a month. Chances are, it will be somewhere between the two. I keep trying to gauge my body and remember the feelings and sensations I had at the end of my last pregnancy, but I find it hard to remember. This pregnancy is different and I should probably just rest in the uncertainty of it all. Overall feeling very good. The chiropractic treatment I've been getting has helped my back/rib pain and the suggestions my midwife gave me to deal with heartburn has also helped. The worst discomfort I feel is while breastfeeding my 3-year-old. We've put some limitations on it, but I'm not quite ready to throw in the towel yet. I'd like to try tandem nursing and see if it works for us.

Still trying to walk every day, although doing my normal route is getting harder. It's really exhausting me. I find I'm taking the "short way" more often. Although I still tend to walk for at least half an hour or more. I bought another package at the yoga studio, which should take me through to the birth, and hopefully I'll be motivated financially to get back there afterward as well.

Still don't know the gender. I'm definitely taking guesses. =)

Peer is getting excited about meeting his little brother or sister. So are we. I've been trying to work through my fears about childbirth and being a mom of two. I'm feeling overall very confident and positive about it, though.

Andy started a new job that is back in the legitimate film industry and pays better too. Post production. A good job, but a small company, which always means some instability. We try to remember that God is our Provider. He likes it a lot so far, but hates the commute out to Santa Monica every day. So do I, since he leaves earlier and doesn't seem to get home until about 8pm. I have to do dinner by myself with Peer. This is hard right now, but I'm hoping that once the new baby is here, I'll at least have more energy, even though my hands will be more full.

We had a wonderful baby shower a couple weeks ago that my mom and sister hosted and we got a lot of cool stuff, including gift cards and cash which we have already completely blown on other stuff we didn't receive as gifts. I think the only money I've spent has been on the Maya Wrap ring sling I desperately wanted and a few more cloth diapering supplies that I wanted new for the new baby. I had originally intended to sell our old diapers and use the money for new ones, but I haven't gotten them all repaired yet. I may still try to sell some, but not right away. We have plenty in small and newborn sizes that I didn't want to sell, so I feel fairly prepared for this new one. I also won a $50 gift certificate at my favorite natural parenting boutique, Belly Sprout, so I excited blew the whole thing and more on new cloth diapering supplies. By the way, my grandma is the one repairing all these old diapers for me. She won't even let me help her. She is amazing.

I guess that is all to report for now!

New Appreciation for Old Shakespeare

So lately I've really been into learning about the War of the Roses. It's something I've always been interested in, but never took the time to really study. I read Richard III years ago and really, really loved it. I'm reading it again and I can't believe I even enjoyed it with the lack of knowledge I had about the history. It is so much richer to me now. I even directed a student of mine in a monologue from the play. Now I feel I did her a great disservice by not participating with her in a guided research study of the history.

Anyway, this all started because I've started reading my favorite novelist again, Phillippa Gregory. She has a new series of novels out based on this history and I am just gobbling them up, just as I did with her Tudor series. So far I've read both books in the series, The White Queen and The Red Queen. The former is based on Elizabeth Woodville, the famous York queen married to King Edward IV and the latter is told from the perspective of Margaret Beaufort, mother to Henry VII (the guy who ended it all and started the Tudor dynasty).

So now I'm reading Shakespeare's Richard III again with new eyes. It's really quite amazing. Here's my latest thought(s). I got to thinking, okay, Richard was this, like, normal ambitious dude with a claim to the throne that he pursued with the same vehemence that all ambitious dudes did before and after him. So how did he become such a notorious villain in history? Why Shakespeare, of course. And why would Shakespeare paint him in such a light? Because Will was the constant politician. He very often wrote to appeal to his monarch. Making Richard a villain justified the battlefield killing of the king by Elizabeth I's grandfather, which not only justified the whole Tudor reign, but sanctified it. Shakespeare could have wrote a melodrama with Richard as the mustache-twisting bad guy (nevermind that art form wasn't around yet), but that's just not his style. He creates one of the most notorious villains in all of western literature.

Well done, my friend. Well done.

The Family Bed

Okay, I need feedback from other families out there that have done the family bed with two kids (or more). Peer has his own room and his own bed, but he doesn't stay in it full time yet. And soon this new baby will be here. We were going to buy a Humanity Bed for the new baby, but decided to try an Arms Reach Co-sleeper instead at first, since we could borrow it. Andy opened it up yesterday and it's a little different than I expected. The surface that baby sleeps on does not come up to the top edge of the co-sleeper, so I question whether or not baby can see me and sense my presence at night. So I think the baby could still very easily end up right next to me in bed. The product itself is still way better than any bassinet or cradle, so we are planning to use it. But I know from experience that sometimes baby does not want to use the thing that mom & dad thought would be fine. I want to be more prepared this time than I was last time!

Peer, on the other hand could possibly sleep on Andy's other side (he's used to sleeping between us), but we might need to put up the bedrail, as he sometimes falls out of bed. Silly boy. (don't worry, we keep the beds quite low and we often use pillows, even though our floors are carpeted). Another suggestion I was given was to try a mattress on the floor for Peer. A good idea, but knowing Peer, he probably will not go for that. He likes to snuggle.

The last time we had an infant in the house, we were not bedsharing (Peer didn't join us in bed until he was about six months old, although he was always in our room), and this time we are pretty much planning on it. So I really don't know how to do this whole bedsharing thing with an infant. I've known a few families that put their infant in between mom & dad, but that was always with their first kid. I'm not very comfortable with that idea, especially since we have an older child.

I want to be able to keep both of my children safe physically, both of them secure psychologically/emotionally, and if possible, allow myself to get a little sleep too. So does anyone who reads my blog have any experience with this? Speak up! I could use all the ideas shot my way that I can get!

Milestone!

So yesterday I had my thesis proposal defense meeting. This is really the beginning of the thesis-writing process. I submit a thorough proposal and then I have to meet with a committee of professors (that I chose) and together we all decide if it is solid enough for me to continue. I was really nervous about it, but it all turned out really well. They approved my topic with flying colors and offered me some very valuable insight on how to organize my ideas and write it.

This is actually a huge milestone for me. Even though I still need to write the thing, I didn't plan to do it before the birth of this child. I really, really, really wanted to just get it proposed and defended. But for a while there during the summer when I felt I was slacking off, I began to doubt myself. I thought I wasn't working hard enough and it would never be finished on time. My "practice proposal" that I wrote for the first class I took in grad school was nearly 20 pages and very in-depth. This one ended up being only 7. I guess I can chalk it all up to learning better how to work smart, not just hard. I was actually very surprised that my adviser approved the first draft of my proposal that I sent to her. The only glitch in the process has been that my third committee member, a prof I chose from the English department, didn't show up and has been quite unresponsive. So we are going to try to proceed with a two-person committee. I don't see how this will be a problem, unless the grad office just doesn't like change!

My new title is: "Birthing Conflict: Childbirth and the Battle of the Sexes in Elizabethan and Jacobean Drama" (it used to be Early Modern English Drama, but this title's more specific and accurate)

So now I'm going to put it on hold probably so I can focus on getting ready for birth and baby. But I'm actually now really excited to write it. The meeting yesterday was actually a lot of fun, and it felt great to be back in the academic world again. I'm glad this chapter of my life isn't completely over!

bugs and little boys

So today we found this somewhat beautiful grasshopper or something on our door. I called Peer over to see it before swishing it away so I could unlock. As soon as it got to the ground, Peer immediately stepped on it and squished it.

I was somewhat alarmed.

Me: Oh no! Peer, you killed it!
Peer: (to the dead carcass with the entrails dangling) oh, I'm sorry little bug!
Me: It's dead now, Peer.
Peer: but now it can come back to normal!

It was his first real experience with the consequences of his roughness. He was kind of sad about that beautiful little bug. And I was sad about it too. =(

3rd Trimester

Is it odd that I kind of want to carry this baby at least until my due date? Peer was born at 37 weeks, and I figure that won't happen again. After all, lightning doesn't strike twice. But I find myself thinking, gosh, if I make it to somewhere around mid-November, then that would give us more time to prepare for baby, push us into the holidays practically with family leave and all that, and it will be cooler. I'm probably totally jinxing myself by saying all this. I'll be at 42 weeks and still no baby, and trying everything. I just keep praying for the strength to carry this baby until my body can do it no longer. I've had a pretty great pregnancy, although it has definitely been more intense than my last one. My midwife says that is because of hormones. And I know that I'm a pretty hormonal person! But I also know that the same hormones that give me nausea and heartburn now will also give me a smooth birth and a bountiful milk supply. I am very thankful that my body works so well!